If ya haven’t figured out, me & Big Swole go way back.  For as long as I can remember we have been throwing stupid funny shit back and forth at each other with a large portion being based in an insult.  You know…it’s just what guys do.

I heard a Yo Momma joke a couple of days ago and started to think about the shit-ton of Yo Momma jokes we tossed out over the years. After discovering there are millions of  em on the net, I decided to throw out my top 20 faves.

My Top 20 Yo Momma Jokes.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat that when she dances, she makes the band skip.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat that when she cut her leg, gravy came out out.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat that when she was born, the hospital got stretch marks.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat she aint got cellulite. She’s got cellu-heavy.

● Yo’ Momma is so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.

● Yo’ Momma’s mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.

● Yo’ Momma’s lips are so big, that chapstick invented a spray.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat that she went to KFC to get a bucket of chicken and they asked her what size. She said the one on the roof.

● Yo’ Momma is so fat that she influences the tides.

● I cannot comment on the state of your mother because cows are sacred in my country.

● Yo’ Momma is so stupid that when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

● Yo’ Momma is so stupid that she fell up a flight of stairs.

● Yo’ Momma is so skinny, her nipples touch.

● Yo’ Momma is so skinny, she could dive through a fence.

● Yo’ Momma breath is so bad that her teeth made plans to escape.

● Yo’ Momma is breath smells so bad that she has prescription strength tic-tacs.

● Yo’ Momma is teeth are so crooked that her mouth looks like a chic-let parking lot.

● Yo mama’s teeth are so crooked she can eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence.

● Yo’ Momma is so stupid she stared at the orange juice container for a half hour because it said concentrate.

And my absolute favorite….

● They used to call it a jumpoline before your Momma got on it.



Additional sources: Reddit , Yomommaso

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